I walked into my mom’s room to give her the mail. She was on the phone with one of her best friends Vanese. As soon as Vanese heard I was in the room she demanded that my mom put me on the phone. She did, and Vanese was all, ” Hi sweetie, I just wanted to congratulate you on your life so far. You’ve found a home church, you’re graduating high school, and entering a impacted, difficult school to get into. Now listen, I know your mom really well. If she ever gives you any trouble, you call me and i’ll set her straight. And darling, I haven’t seen you in seven years, I want to though, because I know you’ve turned out beautiful. I wish you’d marry one of my sons. okay! bye”
I love this picture. My friends are great.
The feeling of the lord’s love aiding me though the murky waters.
To feel the cold mist in the heat of a summer’s night. To put the umbrella of fears and angst down, and be showered with the lamb’s love.
For the first time in my life to dominantly and permanently be loved on by someone who can bring Christ to the table
For the first time in my life, after years of being rejected by the body of Christ, to feel loved at church. To be a part of the body, to be welcomed with open arms.
For spiritual sisters to love me and take care of me.
For me to stop fearing the demons, to go after the roots that started when i was younger. For me to take on the spiritual attacks, fearlessly. To remember to speak love onto the world rather than curses
To allow God to go after the roots that aren’t permitting me to grow
For the spirit of doubt to be destroyed entirely
to soften my heart toward those who have hurt me
my earthly mother has rejected me. and so has my spiritual mother. to heal, restore, plant anew. I need to have a spiritual mother
was it the lure of temporary peace and a break from the warfare?
impurities, the power to remove them, the strength to rise above them and not to dwell in shame
to have faith in god. the areas of my life that i cant understand. the areas I cant explain. to recognize that confusion is not of the lord. to know that I will be answered according to the lords will and to seek peace in that. the back and forth
I cant worship for the past 11 months. I can’t find You. restore the ability to worship you.
to do the work of the lord, to change things, to bring people to christ, a way to do that!
that hope will keep me company in my brokenness
to focus on the glory of the lord
to remember what jesus did on the cross for me. to remember how much he loves me. to feel how much he loves me. to be sensitive to the spirit.
to take care of my physical health
dont you know who you are?
to be soft for people. to pray continuously and relentlessly for my loved ones.
the tools to grow.
self awareness..christ awareness
words can’t elaborate how good it feelt to be sitting in a coffee shop with a hot cinnamon dolce latte rather than my first period.
Benjamin Francis Leftwich - In The Open
thirteen years of lovin’
hope in general
how nice it is to park my car in the garage rather than on the street
winning ebay auctions
fully stocked refrigerators
people who know how to communicate in a healthy manner
the ‘bean’ taste in vanilla bean ice cream
the first grade class I do docents for went out and bought me a bag of zebra caramel popcorn
using all aspects of life to its full potential
i just want tiramisu
Benjamin Francis Leftwich’s voice
“She Loves Me So”- Anthony Green